Natasha Lyonne, Random Actress, Molests Dog

Actress Natasha Lyonne, who was accused of threatening to sexually molest a dog, turned herself in at a New York court Friday, CNN reports.

THG NOTE: There’s really not a lot we can add when CNN reports that kind of story… We can’t even come up with a good doggy-style joke. Anyway.

Lyonne, the star of American Pie and Scary Movie 2, was issued a bench warrant last January for not showing up for four hearings regarding a complaint from a neighbor who’d accused her of rushing into her apartment in 2004, picking up her dog, and telling the woman:

“I’m going to sexually molest your dog.”

Paris Hilton, take notice.

At the Manhattan Criminal Court appearance, a drug counselor testified that Lyonne had completed an in-patient drug program in February and continued to attend outpatient rehabilitation groups.

Lyonne has had multiple run-ins with the law, as evidenced by this 2001 mug shot.

Judge Anthony Ferrara said the charges would be dropped if the actress stayed out of trouble for the next six months.

Seriously now. Dog molestation charges? The celebrity world gets weirder and weirder by the day.

What’s next? Lindsay Lohan injuring herself pole dancing? Britney Spears linking up with some loser like J.R. Rotem? God.

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